XMAS COME EARLY! Gone Shoppin’

Heading out for my annual present-hunting trip (yes, I know… it’s sad, but true) to the old shopping paradise town of Curepipe (only people from there think so and very few actually get to say it), I am in total wonderment at what’s going to be on offer during the mid-December Xmas sales.
It’s a buyer’s dream, honest! : Amnesty on road penalty points… yum, Free wifi island-wide…yess! An absolutely gorgeous and erudite woman as President…Come on now! Someone’s pulling my leg, the elimination of poverty…what? You gotta be kidding…
Hey, you ain’t seen nothing yet! : How about, the best-ever Education Minister, the best-ever State Pathologist, a new and revisited young man called Duval, I must be dreaming…
-Free petrol! Yippee!
-Nah! Who ever made that one up?
-Maybe it’s only for the taxis then; they always get the freebies at election time…
The funny thing about Curepipe and Midlands (do fish and deer have a vote there?) in other words the No 17, is that when the constituency numbers are added up (1+7=8), they speak of good luck for some, karma and fate for others, that might all be telling…a tale or two.
If recent history is anything to go by, there are a couple of ex-coqs who, having gone past their credit limit will finally have to pay up, and not only in kind, when the chickens come home to roost on December 10.
The karma chameleon super-owner will have most of the worrying to do. A cross-merchandising phenomenon, he could possibly have been excused for going to the red counter following his blue period. But he then chose to become an out-of-fashion Babushka doll (Russian nesting doll), changing identities at every stage of getting smaller. At this rate he will get to the baby state (the very last doll) by the time the next elections come around in 2019, so why invest in such dead stock, known for blowing hot and cold, one might ask?
To add to his woes, lest one forget (specially the core militant electorate) that his shelf life might be shortened further due to his threats (meekly sanctioned by the EOC) during the last municipal elections, towards the very electorate he is now trying to win over…Good Luck!
The other ex-coq turned eagle, who has had the audacity to believe that the ‘Cité’ dwellers and his fellow Unit Price shoppers represent an unflinchingly loyal, fixed deposit of dumb, repeat customers, has obviously got a caddy-full of surprises coming to him.
 Not only did he use the militant vote in their thousands during the last municipal elections to get his ‘Karate Kid’ protégé elected, but in true master’s voice fashion, betrayed his own word and his very own electorate’s vote (and mine too) to get rid of 7 years of Labour mismanagement and wastefulness, by U-turning and joining the latter in the vetoing role of Mayor by proxy.
Some whispering voices are saying it was a winning jackpot ticket, not purchasable at the Winning Supermarket (and worth five times that of last Saturday’s lotto win), that swung it for the reds…
What a turn-off! Especially coming off the back of an exhilarating, nail-biting extra-time, plus penalties 7-7 draw between the purple hearts and the red keys.
 Didn’t Mr Welcome not suddenly jump ship to join the latter on a free, after he found out he wouldn’t be getting the holy piece of paper (from you know who) that would see him star in the next Karmageddon?! (Elections in No 17)
Ah well! He won’t be missed and his new master’s facial expression might be anything but welcoming in the post 10.12. Era.
So, will the eagle’s wings be trimmed down to size into an orphan product, or has the Babushka doll gone past its sell-by date?
What about the wincey bird? It’s small, but rumoured to have a sting in its tail.
Will Doctor S turn out to be the best “buy one get one free” deal, or will the rag doll spring a surprise out of the butterfly’s box?
You’ll first have to check out at the till to find out…