Anoucheka Gangabissoon
I still remember when I was thirteen
I tilted between wanting to drown myself
In the fantasy world of cartoons
And between knowing life
By maybe experiencing how it would
Feel by having my hand held
Or by having a first kiss
Or even by dressing up like my favorite actress
Or by wearing, for the first time, makeup
By having my hair cut and brushed and
My legs waxed!
I still remember when I was thirteen
How the world seemed such a scary place to be
As I did not have the guts to open my mouth
And greet neighbours
Or even to walk into a shop
And say, loud and clear
That this product is what I am looking for!
I still remember how I used to dream
Of someday accomplishing anything worth
Being proud of
Homework seemed to be such a drag
School seemed to be an obligation
And love,
Yes, love, at least the love I saw in cartoons
The love happening between princesses and princes
Seemed a most reliable refuge!
And then, suddenly, I turned thirty
And life began to take shape
With its responsibilities,
Its burdens, its accountabilities
Its purpose, its essence
And now, when I do bid myself to remember
How I was when I was still thirteen
I just laugh and tell myself
Oh what a baby I was at thirteen!