ASH PHOENIX
Nowadays, we use the word awareness a lot. It has two meanings. First, awareness is the knowledge or perception of a situation or fact. Second, it is the concern about and well-informed interest in a particular situation or development.
In a romantic relationship, awareness of what the other person needs and maybe thinks is required. We should understand their vision of the relationship and their dreams, aspirations and fears. Our romantic partner needs to open up so we can understand their true intentions and are not in the dark about their feelings. Nothing is more damaging for a love relationship if we do not know the other person’s intentions because they leave us guessing.
How should we know if someone truly loves us if they do not tell us the same regularly? How should we know if someone wants a future with us if they are unclear in their words or actions?
If we do not know those things, because the other person either does not want to give us those answers or cannot because they do not have a clear vision of their lives, we need to evaluate the situation. That is normally where the interpretations start. When we do that, relationships usually become rocky. We may think our partner is not ready to commit, and we fill the holes because the partner refuses to fill the gaps. Maybe many relationships are like this nowadays, but I would insist that they will inevitably become unhealthy. A relationship needs security, emotional safety and certainty to blossom. Feelings and commitments cannot be left in the air but must be spoken out and acted upon.
That is where I want to discuss the second meaning of awareness as the concern about and well-informed interest in a particular situation. In a love relationship, we must be mindful.
We need to show respect for the person we love and have a genuine interest in them and our relationship with them. We cannot leave things up in the air. That, however, means that we should provide them with the clarity needed for the relationship to flourish. Thus, it is essential to make an effort and give them the answers they need to know.
Often, those answers are complicated. In many love relationships, one partner can imagine being together for a lifetime while the other person has doubts. Those doubts show not only in a lack of clear words but also in a lack of commitment. We should openly communicate that we are unsure and provide reasons if we are aware of them. When we understand after a while if we want to be together for life with that person or not, we need to tell our partner. If we do not talk about our doubts, we neither love that person nor truly respect them.
Sometimes love requires us to part ways, even if it is hard. There are situations where one partner wants children, whereas the other person does not want them. When love relationships end because of those incompatibilities, both partners hopefully can handle the end maturely and move forward with someone else. If the uncertainties are, however, not spoken out, a relationship becomes unhealthy.
When our partner is not concerned for our well-being and does not want to give us clarity because they only care about their temporary benefits, we already have the answer: they do not love us enough. That is where we must be strong and cut those people out who do not respect us enough to give us a stable relationship.
So, if you are unsure about someone else, please be open with them and communicate your doubts. Nothing leaves us more broken-hearted than constant insecurity about what the other person wants in a relationship. A proverb says: ‘An end in terror is preferable to terror without end.’ The same applies to love. Rather a bitter end than a relationship that drags on and leads to nowhere.