Sheistah Bundhoo-Deenoo
The paradox of sisterhood is a thing which we need to talk about and address. In the quest for equality, there’s a silent but powerful force at play: female misogyny. It might sound strange, but it’s a real thing, and it’s holding us back. But why does this happen, and what can we do about it? Let’s break it down.
Female Misogyny Unmasked
Picture this: you are in a meeting at work, and a female colleague dismisses your ideas or takes credit for your work. It is a scenario that many women can relate to. This situation paints a stark picture of the insidious nature of female misogyny and its destructive impact. How many of you have known a situation like this or have known someone who experienced this? I’m sure you are aware of at least one such case.
I’ve heard many stories of women finding their female bosses, colleagues and even their mothers female misogynists. What do I mean by this? Women who do not support other women, who denigrate them, who even seek to thwart their progress.
The word “misogyny” comes from the Greek word “mīsoguníā” meaning hatred towards women. It shows up in various ways like privilege, patriarchy, gender bias, sexual harassment, demeaning women, violence against women, and objectification. A man who hates women is a misogynist and a woman who hates women is also a misogynist (displaying internalized misogyny). Too often, we have covered up events and situations where women are belittled by other women. There is less open discussion about this compared to situations where men reinforce patriarchal ideologies. But let’s face it. This is real.
Female misogyny is when women, just like men, buy into the idea that women are somehow inferior. It’s like a voice in your head that tells you that other women aren’t good enough or that you need to compete with them instead of supporting each other. It’s a sneaky thing because it’s been around for so long that we often don’t even notice it. The paradox of sisterhood, tainted by competition and insecurity, reveals the intricate dance of power and vulnerability that shapes female interactions. Word of caution here – I am not trying to defend women engaged in female misogyny; this is a mere explanation of how internalized misogyny unfolds.
When women engage in “Slut shaming,” they are enforcing patriarchal standards onto other women. Some accomplished women, especially those with narcissistic traits, prefer to view themselves as exceptional individuals. They enjoy being the sole woman in high-ranking positions, perceiving other women as flawed or inferior while positioning themselves as extraordinary exceptions. This mindset reflects a superiority complex where these women believe their success and unique status as the only female validate their distinctiveness. Typically, such women exhibit a behaviour of not supporting other women’s advancement, even actively hindering it, as they feel threatened by others matching or surpassing their achievements, which would challenge the perception of their exceptional abilities.
Breaking the Chains, Shifting the Narrative
So why do women do this to each other? Well, a big part of it is because we have been taught to think this way. Society has these ideas about what women should be like—quiet, submissive, and always putting others first. And when we don’t fit into that mold, we end up judging ourselves and other women too. And this is unfortunate…
In the fight against female misogyny, amplifying the voices of marginalized women is crucial.
But here’s the thing: when we put each other down, we’re only making things worse for ourselves. We’re feeding into a system that keeps us all down. Instead of supporting each other, we end up competing and tearing each other apart. And that’s not helping anyone—not women, not men, not anyone.
In Scotland, the government has taken significant steps to address misogyny through legislative reforms. The Misogyny and Criminal Justice Working Group in Scotland recommended the creation of new criminal law provisions to combat misogynistic conduct. This includes new offenses such as stirring up hatred against women, public sexual harassment of women, and issuing threats of rape or sexual assault. By developing specific legislative provisions and focusing on behaviour change, Scotland aims to eradicate misogyny and create a safer and more equal society. While this initiative is commendable, encouraging real discussions on gender equality, challenging traditional gender roles, and fostering a supportive environment where women uplift and empower each other are essential steps.
Let’s break the fake sisterhood concept. Let’s be real and be ready to question ourselves as women. Do we happen to have any signs of internalized misogyny? If yes, be open to address this and work on it. We cannot talk about women empowerment, gender equality or even gender equity without looking at this dimension. Besides, gender is not just a women’s thing. Are we ready to break the chains? To open our eyes, mind and heart…