No, this is not a remake of Jim Carrey’s 1997 film ‘Liar Liar’. It is rather about a Prince and a King indulged in a filthy game of mudslinging, against the backdrop of national security. À la sauce Bollywood. Pinocchio must be having a field day seeing his disciples thoroughly engaged in a bid to emerge as the most proficient liar; one of them definitely is a great(er) fibber. So, who is telling porky pies?
The Prince has made clear his political motives, and the war is well and truly declared against the King. Instead of the earth-shattering revelations, the Prince was extremely cautious, and he only distilled snippets of information, to the exasperation of Dodolanders who have been gearing themselves up for a bombshell. Well, they were only served with scattered pieces of a jigsaw, which they have had to piece together in order to make sense of the Prince’s discourse. Who not to believe? Maybe, it might be best to simply measure whose nose is longer. Every inch matters. Then, we might find out who has been taking us for a joy ride.
Troubled Waters of the Swimming Pool
The Rajapaksa political dynasty is slowly, but surely, crumbling down in Sri Lanka. In clips that have now gone viral, Sri Lankans have been seen bursting into the home of the president, Gotabaya Rajapaksa and creating a mighty splash into his swimming pool. A private swimming pool is an intimate realm, with restricted access. Violating its sanctity illustrates the height of disdain for Rajapaksa, who has fled to the Maldives. Like Boris Johnson, he is yet to leave office and everyone is waiting with bated breath.
It so happens that Dodoland and Sri Lanka are united by the same swimming pool troubled waters. Dodolanders have, since long, been fascinated by rumours about the Prince splashing merrily in a swimming pool that is not his. Eventually, the water turned into a cesspit of scandal that is stinking to the heavens. What is the lesson here for those who consider themselves princely? Do not use a swimming pool that is not yours: build your own in your own castle!
‘Be Zakote’ or ‘Bez a Kote’?
The big question on everyone’s lips is: ‘Be Zakote’ or ‘Bez a Kote’ (lost the plot)?
Dodolanders might have been left with a bitter after-taste of frustration when they did not receive the juicy gossips they were expecting. The tsunami never came. Only a tidal wave barely wet their feet. Nonetheless, there have been serious alarming allegations; that a physical survey was carried out by a foreign technical team on the UNSAFE cable over a period of no less than six long hours. This whole exercise is deemed highly illegal. No excuses? The intent? To sniff out our internet habits?
Are we still SAFE then? Can anyone proclaim to hold our thoughts and personal exchanges at ransom and then plot revenge? Dodolanders are not like the Dodo, which was cruelly wiped out by former Dutch colonisers. Colonialism belongs to the past and absolutely no one in Dodoland is willing to go back to the dark ages of subjugation. Our freedom is sacred, and if anyone thinks it is justified to get into our private exchanges, then the end is near. Muzzling others heralds the beginning of the end, and is a sure sign of hanging on to power at all costs.
Mister Moustache
The mysterious Mister Moustache has kept Dodolanders wondering. Who is this dreaded spectre, looming over our national security? Who are his masters? What are they after? Imaginations are running wild. It cannot be Hercules Poirot! Nor can it be Magnum P.I, the dashing private investigator of the 1980’s! They were the symbols of righteousness.
Well, the Mister Moustache is certainly poking his prickly hairs into the forbidden. High time to stop him smiling under his moustache, and set the record straight. Again, our private exchanges are meant to remain private and be kept out of bounds from the Big Brothers of the outside world. Moustache or not, we do not care. The Prince and the King have a clear choice to make: either wake up and act accordingly, or go and enjoy an early retirement. Mister Moustache should not scare us. He had better keep his moustache out of our national business and mind his own hairy business. Or shave it.
Media Muzzle
Once again, there has been another nauseating attempt to muzzle the media. On the very day that allegations about national security were to be revealed, the bluecoats landed into the newsroom of a private radio station, in order to assert their authority. The whole episode proved to be a ridiculous circus show, destined to flex fancy biceps and intimidate the media. To add insult to injury, the bluecoats have re-enacted the same circus show at another radio station on the day following the second interview.
Far from silencing Dodolanders, those manoeuvres have reinforced their resolve to stand up and fight for their rights. These events have propelled Dodoland back in time as a former colony where the king ruled supreme. Opponents and critics of the regime are either silenced or arrested. The Prince, who used to officiate in the Kingdom’s Kitchen, is a glaring example. The reputation of the country is in a free fall.
In the meanwhile, Dodolanders are eagerly awaiting the unfolding of the next sequel of ‘Liar Liar’. Happy viewing!