Practice

— Allô mo l’armé ? Tou bon kot toi ?
— Non, mo dans pince. Mo mari stressé mo dire toi.
— Ki pé arrive toi ? To finn gagne Covid ?
— Eta, na pa met to lalang kabri lor moi la, hein !
— To 35 pé pez to nam ?
— Li seyé mais li pas kapav. Mo pas donn li pié.
— Kifer to stressé koumsa alors ?
— Sa l’examen oral la pé fini moi.
— Sa ki pé fatig toi koumsa ? To pas enn grand metter dialog ?
— Oui, mais l’examen la pou déroule en anglais.
— To pas habitué écoute ek chante enn paké santé anglais ?
— Santé mo koné, mais kozé la, mo na pa trop gagne li. Akoz sa même mo pou dimane toi enn service.
— Kan to frère la ki to per. Kozé mam.
— Mais selman to bizin promet moi to na pa pou all fann sa partout, pou ban kamwad ris mo lakord.
— Eta, mo na pa enn zom palab moi. Ki to lé mo fer pou toi ?
— Mo ti a kontan to donn moi enn coup de main pour faire un peu practice.
— Faire kiété ?
— Pour practice mo anglais ta. My oldlady has asked me to speak English only to improve my English knowledge and language. To comprend ?
— OK, yes I understand. Mais ki nou pou dire koumsa en anglais ?
— Anou largue en dialog menti-menti zis enn anglais. To korek ?
— I am Ok, my army, let’s go : what are you called ?
— Ashley, and you ?
— Robin
— Where do you rest ?
— At Four Coconut. And you ?
— At Red Earth near a halfbig shop.
— It is husband hot in this stadium.
— You have reason. I am transpirating ! How are you doing at school ?
— Like this, like that.
— Are you breaking a big packet ?
— I have to do it. My father told me if I fail, my saucepan will be hot.
— I gain thirsty. Have you something to drink ?
— Yes, I have some dead water. Do you want some ?
— Yes. Thank you. If you gain hungry, I have got fried apple of the earth.
— No. Thank you. I have bought some dholl rotten with curry big weight.
— Are you taking part in the sports ?
— No. I am blessed in the foot.
— What have you got ?
— The baby of curry rock fell on it.
— Do you hurt much ?
— Of course ! I saw lightnings.
— Hey, something has happened around there. Stay here. I am going to see what arrived.
— What happened ? Boxing on the stadium between two big black ?
— No. A boy call Longfoot fell down without knowledge. The professor says it is because of the sun. Do you know him ?
— Yes, but he is not my army. He is a coconut eater. It is not easy with him.
— They say he is a good runner. He rest near your house, no ?
— I know him. He runs quickly. Small knife cuts big pumpkin. His sister is a beautiful thirty-five. I am trying to put her in a circle, but I have no money. I am waiting for my condemned box to fill. Now my hand is under rock.
— We must marry picker. I give you money.
— Don’t tell her brother. If he knows, he will untie our race.
— Are you going to rest here a long time ?
— No, you can believe. If I felt an occasion, I am going to break the pause at Rose-Hill. Come with me.
— Let’s go. Ayo, you are walking on my foot. Eh, you monkey, you are blessing me again. You cannot make attention.
— Sorry, my black. I did not do it for express.
— Ok, Ok.
Alors what do you think of my English ?
— Husband good, my army. Let’s continue a bit.
— Ki dialog to lé mo avoyé ?
— Tell me one affair who happens to you recently
— Let me think a little bit… I found. Yesterday I was late at school.
— Why ? Your feet were tied with the bedsheets ?
— No. It was because we have a problem at my house.
— What kind of problem do you have at your house ?
— It was not me but my sister. She has been raped.
— She has been… What are you saying ?
— Don’t shout like that, all people will look at us ! I’ve said that my sister has been raped, yesterday morning
— It is husband serious. Where does that happens ?
— In the little lane of the garden, behind the house.
— She has been to the police station and to the hospital, I hope.
— No. For what reason you want her to go to the police station and the hospital ?
— But my army she has been raped.
— And so what ? She is is used to that.
— What are you saying ? She is used to be raped ?
— She likes to run in the yard and frequently falls down and her knee are raped by the chippings.
— RAPED ? !
— Mais oui, kan li tombe lor chipings, zot zénou rapé. She has been raped.
— Oh now I see. She has been WOUNDED by the chippings
— This is what I was saying to you. You don’t understand English ? !
— Hum… I have to admit that from time to time I don’t understand very well YOUR English
— Alors to pensé mo kapav débrouillé pou l’examen ?
— Manière to pé kozé, mo sie to pou gagne mention pou to oral !
( Adapté d’un envoi de A.B.)