BHAWNA ATMARAM
In the context of the upcoming budgetary discussions and expectations, one sector has to be given due consideration: the multi-tasking merchants of Mauritius. They are the non-traditional but super-significant main cast behind the success stories of our alternative economy. They have a tale or two to tell about how to achieve the heights of success despite emanating from nothingness. Everything they do is worth its weight in gold, or rather, worth its pound of venison as per our local jargon. So, dream big and get that pound of venison!
A Pound of (Venison) Flesh
Did you know that many Mauritians close to the sphere of power are naturally proactive, rash and unrepentant? They are a blend of raw, unpolished talents as well as the chosen receptacles of sheer good luck, mostly through their birthright privileges; family members, friends or other relationships that have been forged over the years. This exclusive circle of the bold and bountiful is subject to rotation on an electoral basis. After all, life is not fair. Those who are at the top of the game get to gorge on privileges as gluttonously as they can while leaving zero scraps to those at the bottom of the societal hierarchy. Nonetheless, immortal power is not a guarantee. So, it is a ‘feast-as-much-as-you-can’ scenario. You feast while holding the reins of power. You fast while being holed up in the arid desert of the opposition. You fast then you feast. You feast then you fast. This strategy is certainly better than fasting forever!
Bear in mind that venison (deer meat) is seasonal and highly prized. A pound of that flesh is enough to send you hallucinating about where things have gone so awfully wrong for you, as you wrestle with each and every single rupee you have to find out if you can afford it. Now, if you are favoured by the stars in the sky, no worries. Political hotshots get invited over to private ranches, are given the red carpet treatment, harem to manage as well as free deer hunting tutorials. In public, these connoisseurs pose as fasting gurus while in private, they become blood-thirsty vampires that sink their long abominable fangs into the soft luscious venison. This is reminiscent of the very last sentence of George Orwell’s ‘Animal Farm’ published in 1945. As onlookers, if we were given a sneak peek into the feasting sessions at these private ranches, this is how the scene would unravel; ‘The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.’
The New Hub: Jack-of-all-trades
Mauritius is such a blessed nation! So blessed with the hordes of unmatchable talent pools that keep mushrooming at each junction. So many jacks-of-all-trades. If we wish to progress as a modern country thrust onto the ruthless international economic scene, we do have to arm ourselves. One of the strategies forward is to be multi-talented, which is being inculcated to us by none other than our dear governors. No need to specialise into one single field and master it. That would be an enormous waste of time here. Instead, citizens are encouraged to try their luck at a mishmash of skills. Here, you are allowed to dream heavily till a comatose level.
Just look around! You can be a hotelier and a pharmacist. A well-connected air hostess and a prolific businesswoman (because gender representation matters)! A press officer and a dedicated bootlicker. An embezzler and a decorated member of the republic. A fishmonger and a narcotics dealer. A minister and onion-potato retailer. A speaker and a jerk. The possibilities are endless. The more unusual the combination and permutation of skills, the better! In this way, as a nation, we shall be ever ready to face any challenge thrown at us. There will never be a dearth of jobs for anybody, especially for those close to the upper rungs of power. No need to worry about tenders. They miraculously have the ability to fall into the hands of the closest and dearest ones. Eventually, as goes the saying, there are no coincidences in life.
Young minds are quickly taking notes of basic survival skills from our leaders. While a huge chunk is contributing to the national brain drain by choosing to escape to better shores where their worth will be acknowledged, the rest is doomed to struggle…while still, a minority continues to tread into the same footsteps of the polyvalent merchants of corruption.
I don’t know how to read nor write…
With more than 90% of the population deemed literate, the remaining lot is faring not too badly. Truth be told, not badly at all. A notorious businessman who publicly claimed that he could neither read nor write, has put us all to shame by teaching us a most valuable lesson in humility.
The inability to grasp the alphabet or numbers has nothing to do with failure. Instead, it has everything to do with attaining success at a vertiginous scale. Mauritius is after all the new wonderland. Being illiterate does not deter you from being at the top of a huge tentacular network of real estate, super cars and trucks, lavish lifestyles and henchmen. The Bling Bling world on our doorstep. You might be wanted for trial in another country but your loyal henchmen at the peak of power will stamp your passport to welcome you ceremoniously back to your home country, and protect your arrears or derriere by turning a blind eye to your business activities sullied by blood money. One wonders why the taxman has been so quiet all these years.
The bottom line is that this merchant of illiteracy must be given a diplomatic role and a cloak of immunity to impart his pearls of wisdom to the rest of us commoners, about how to turn our dirty kitchen rags to silk. Now, that IS a game changer!