ASH PHOENIX*
We as humans get betrayed quite often, whether by our husband, lover or sometimes even by our own children. Even more often, someone lies to us, whether it is a stranger, a friend, a family member, a work colleague or anyone we allow to get close to us. Lies are everywhere, whether they are small, big or colossal. Some of those lies are even detrimental to our own physical, mental or spiritual health. We lie and we get lied to. So is there a difference in the quality of lies? Do we always have to tell the truth? When does a lie damage another human and when is that not the case? Is lying maybe relative?
When we consider the topic of lies, we also have to talk about the truth. At the signpost of the Vortex de Riambel, it is written that the opposite of the shadow which we call lies is the truth. We are embracing the light if we are speaking the truth, seeking the truth, requesting to know the truth. Truth as a concept is as complicated as the concept of lies. So which lies – if any – are allowed and which are not? Can we exist as humans without lying to each other? Often we also lie to ourselves but I would attribute this to the category of illusions which I will talk about in my next article.
I think it is fair to say that humans lie to each other – sometimes it happens without realising it but more often consciously. If I am asked whether I like the skirt of my friend and that skirt looks objectively terrible, is too short and mint green, shall I tell her the truth? Or shall I tell my son the truth about every aspect of our lives? Shall we embrace the truth even if we hurt others? Shall we tell the truth even if it may cause irreparable damage? Or shall we lie for the sake of protecting those who receive the lie. In my opinion, it is not only a difficult but an almost impossible moral question to answer. Lies are not only part of our human nature but they are also the glue that keeps our society together. Most of us are rather tactful than truthful and blunt.
I honestly do not have an answer this time. I know for myself that I quite often talk bluntly. I tell people what I feel and what I think at that very moment. In the process, I may hurt people and it often does not serve me. So shall we resort to lies in order to avoid hurting each other? I think that there are different scenarios. Maybe the friend will benefit from me telling the truth so she avoids making a fool of herself in public. Maybe my son will benefit from knowing the situation in the long run although he may feel hurt in the moment. Maybe someone whom we love will change their ways because we tell them how we feel and what we think, even if it is hurtful. Maybe we even help them to become a better person in the process.
It is said that the truth sets us free. Indeed, we feel guilty most of the time when we lie. On the other hand, we can also feel guilt when we tell the truth and hurt someone as a consequence. In the end, I think we may have to change our perspective. Telling the truth may liberate our burdened souls. And that is what is probably meant by the phrases ‘I release all my lies’ and ‘I call forth within me truth’ that we find at the signpost of the Vortex de Riambel. On the other hand, the truth puts an additional burden on our souls with the knowledge that we may hurt another human by telling the truth. Both aspects are sub-optimal. Maybe that is also the explanation why so many lies are told during our lifetime and why we are no exception to it. Maybe one has to be Jesus Christ, Buddha, Mohammad or Lord Ganesha to be entirely truthful. Maybe always being truthful is something that we – as humans – can only strive to but may never achieve.
In my view, it is already beneficial for us to think for a moment or two about the possible outcomes when we tell someone a lie. Sometimes, people do not only NOT think about the consequences and the damage they cause, but they lie solely for the purpose of their own benefit without consideration that they are hurting others in the process. That is evil as it causes them the sick pleasure of torturing another soul. Other cases are less severe if we simply do not think carefully about the hurt that we might cause. Maybe all we need to do is to reflect about our lies that we tell others and the truth that is lost in that moment. It is hard to think about the ultimate moral obligation that we have about telling the truth. Therefore, I would like to ask my reader to reflect on the consequences before telling a lie. I would like to finish this article with the following little poem:
SO MANY PEOPLE
So many people
So many views
So many dreams
So many lies
So much pain.
* Ash Phoenix is the author of The Chronicles of the Tiny Island which is available at Bookcourt.